During my internship at the Statehouse, I have realized that I will always be surrounded by individuals who are, well, not that intelligent. I have one co-worker, in particular, who gives new meaning to Rami Belson’s famous quote, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.” This girl’s problem is that she never shuts her mouth, and certainly does not think before she speaks.

Let’s take a look at an example from last week when the House was debating a sex offender bill. Included in this bill was a provision that individuals would not have to register as sex offenders if the age difference between the criminal and the minor was four years or less. Here’s the encounter:

Please note that she is called Dee, as in “Tweedle Dee.” We also have “Tweedle Dumb” in our office, but that’s a whole other story.

Dee: “I don’t get the four year thing.”

Me: “If you’re more than four years older than the minor you have sex with, you have to register as a sex offender.”

Dee: “What if you’re not more than four years older”

Me: “Then you don’t. Like, if you’re 18 and she’s 17, that’s illegal, but you don’t have to register as a sex offender.”

Dee: “What if she’s 17 and a half?”

Does she really think the government recognizes 17 and a half?!?!

She’s also the office pig. The following is from another coworker:

For all of you to know, Jamie is currently talking about how she is going to devour the left-overs in the fridge to “save it from death.”

“With how much food people eat and how much food people throw away, I just try to balance it out to save them by collecting peoples’ to-go boxes, so that nothing is wasted.”

I know, I know, waste not, want not. But eating other people’s leftovers? That’s disgusting.